


Kal Rekk

by GenericUsername01



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Awkwardness, Gen, Gen because I mention Spock’s dating a human but I never say who, Introspection, Kal Rekk, Meditation, Set just after the 2009 movie, Vulcan Culture, alien forgiveness rituals that go so far they cause diplomatic incidents, first chapter is serious second chapter is pure crack, it’s good just read it, vulcan holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 01:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13847103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenericUsername01/pseuds/GenericUsername01
Summary: Spock observes Kal Rekk, the Vulcan day of atonement and silence. He reflects on the past year and reaches some conclusions.And then he decides to do something about it.





	1. Meditation

“Captain, I have a request to make,” Spock said, approaching him on the bridge.  
  
“Sure, go ahead,” Jim said.  
  
“I would like to have tomorrow off.”  
  
“What.”  
  
“I would like to have tomorrow off.”  
  
“No, I heard you,” he said. “It’s just, this is a Federation starship, Spock, not an office job. I can authorize personal leave—I don’t think anyone’s ever asked for just one day before—but I’m gonna need a reason to log for the records.”  
  
“I would like to clarify that I want one Vulcan day off, which lasts 29.83 Terran hours and begins at 0517 hours.”  
  
“…Okay. Can I ask why?”  
  
“I wish to observe the Vulcan holiday of Kal Rekk. It is a day of atonement, silence, and solitude.”  
  
“Oh! Well, Spock, if it’s for a holiday, then I don’t want to deduct personal leave from you. The Federation Charter guarantees days of observance for all member species’ cultural holidays. Technically, you should already have the day off. Starfleet should have sent me a memo…”  
  
“It was likely an oversight. As I am the only Vulcan currently serving in Starfleet, it would be illogical to send a notice to every captain in the ‘Fleet as a reminder to allow Vulcan crewmembers the day off.”  
  
“Still, they should have at least sent one to me. Everyone knows you serve here; you’re the best First Officer in the goddamn ‘Fleet,” he said. “You have the day off. Take as long as you need. And I’ll be sending a message to HQ about this. This won’t happen again.”  
  
“Unnecessary, Captain.”  
  
“No, it is necessary. I’m not gonna let Starfleet trample all over a whole species’ cultural customs just because there aren’t that many of you. I’ll get Pike to do something about this. You enjoy your holiday.”  
  
“Kal Rekk is not meant to be pleasurable, Captain. It is a day for meditating on one’s faults and wrongdoings.”  
  
“Oh. Okay, well… good luck?”  
  
“Thank you.”

* * *

Spock laid out his meditation mat, stone, and fire pot. He lit the traditional incense and assumed the lotus position upon the stone.  
  
It was not meant to be comfortable.  
  
He closed his eyes and centered his thoughts, ordering them neatly.  
  
This was a day for deep meditation. He would not be permitted to eat, drink, sleep, or speak until the 29.83 hours were up. He had locked the door to his quarters and disabled his comm. Unless the captain died, he would not leave this room or utter a single word for the entire day. He had given very explicit instructions to both the captain and Dr. McCoy that his lock was not to be overridden unless it was the most dire of circumstances and absolutely no one else could do whatever it was they needed him for.  
  
Kal Rekk took place on the last day of the Vulcan year. It was a day for reflecting on the past year’s wrongdoings and how one has hurt others. These mistakes must be deeply meditated on so as to ascertain how they could have been prevented and how they can be atoned for. It is a day for the improvement of the self, essentially.  
  
Spock had made many mistakes over the past year—failings of his logic. His most obvious one should have been addressed years ago, but he only now recognized it as the gross wrongdoing that it was.  
  
He had never told his mother he loved her.  
  
And now she was dead.  
  
She had presumably died without her knowing the depths of his affection. This was unacceptable. Amanda Grayson was too extraordinary of a person to have died believing her own son did not love her. It was the height of illogic.  
  
Spock had sacrificed his own mother’s emotional needs for the sake of his pride. For the purposes of maintaining appearances to his Vulcan peers. This was unacceptable. His behavior had been abominable, and his failure to recognize it as such for so many years was even worse. His actions had not been logical. They had been fueled by negative, disgraceful emotions. Fear and pride and shame.  
  
Amanda Grayson deserved better.  
  
It was not logical to deny the existence of one’s love. Humans required assurance of it. To deny them this was to their detriment and caused them pain. It went against the teachings of Surak to cause pain to another, especially one that was held dear.  
  
Love must be acknowledged and affirmed when it was there, Spock concluded. He resolved to do so in the future. Never again would he sacrifice one person’s emotions because he was ashamed of his own. It was illogical. He should never have allowed an emotion such as shame to control him for so long. It was even further disgraceful that he had not noticed that was what was happening.  
  
He had been too affected by the opinions of his peers. They had succeeded in causing an undesirable long-term emotional reaction in him. He should have meditated further on what was happening at the time. Never again would he allow himself to be so controlled by another. His life was his own to lead and his own to judge. The opinions of others were irrelevant.  
  
His decision to remain in Starfleet, for example, rather than assist in the building of the New Vulcan colony. His father had been immensely displeased by his decision to join up in the first place. He felt that his rejection of admission to the Vulcan Science Academy had disgraced both his clan and the House of Surak. In light of the current circumstances, his actions were even worse, in Sarek’s eyes. All young people were being encouraged to repopulate. Instead of travelling to the colony and taking a female, Vulcan mate, Spock remained aboard a mostly human starship—unbonded, childless, and courting a human.  
  
He was aware that in the previously unaltered timeline, his father had not spoken to his counterpart for a full eighteen years, until he was forced to by diplomatic circumstances. It was likely that this universe would follow a similar course. Spock was nearly certain he was Sarek’s greatest disappointment.  
  
And yet he could not bring himself to regret his choices. There were more ways to help the colony than by simply repopulating. Spock was maintaining a Vulcan presence in Starfleet, something that was dearly needed at this time. Vulcan had been one of the four founding members of the Federation, and that fact could not be forgotten simply because they were an endangered species now. Spock would not allow it.  
  
It was not as if reproduction was out of the question for him in the future, however, there was a 98.73% chance that he would take a human bondmate, and thus any offspring produced would only be one-quarter Vulcan. They would be considered humans by most.  
  
He found that he not only did not care, but found the idea of children to be agreeable, no matter what their heritage. Taking a human mate would cause more of his mother’s genes to be passed on. And he cared about that more than he cared about producing pure-blooded Vulcans.  
  
He had long since reached the conclusion that ethnocentricity was illogical, biased, and xenophobic. He was continually surprised by how many Vulcans espoused such a conservative ideal. Racial purity was one of the most backwards ideas in the galaxy, and it belonged in a time long past.  
  
He wondered how the destruction of Vulcan would shift their cultural values. It could, as humans say, go either way. His society may decide to forego the notion of purity in favor of increasing numbers as much as possible, or they may decide the opposite. Spock knew there were very few other Vulcans of mixed heritage. He wondered what they were being encouraged to do.  
  
Either way, he did not desire children at this particular point in time. That was a decision to be made after much discussion and extensive meditation, and so it was a moot point for now.  
  
He focused on his next greatest failing. His attempted strangulation of now-Captain Kirk on the bridge.  
  
He would have killed him. He knew that. If his father had not called him to his senses, he would have killed his captain, who had come to be so dearly regarded by him. Such an action was unthinkable. It was unconscionable and inexcusable for a Vulcan, for any follower of Surak’s teachings.  
  
Vulcan emotions run deep and primal and more intense than humans are capable of. The control they espouse is a necessity. Before Surak, Vulcan had been a planet of barbarians, of savages. Their culture had revolved around violence and lust and the desire for dominance and possession.  
  
Spock’s parents had at first thought that being half-human would mean his emotions would not run as deep, and therefore he would not need such strict control. Now he was an adult, and he found his control to be insufficient.  
  
Anger had always been the emotion he struggled most to control. Vulcan loyalty was known throughout the galaxy, and Spock’s loyalty to his mother knew no bounds. He was unwilling to temper it, and yet, he must not allow his emotions to be controlled by it.  
  
There must be balance.  
  
He could not atone for the injustice he had done to his mother. What’s done is done. Kaiidth.  
  
He would not make atonement to his father for his life choices as he did not regret them.  
  
He could make atonement to his captain, however. He resolved to do so beginning the very next day.


	2. King Kirk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll be perfectly honest, I just wanted to use the ‘dig it in there mr spock’ Quote. I’m not sure if this fic is better or worse if you imagine Spock is dating Kirk or if you think he’s with Uhura or Bones or literally anyone else, but who he’s with definitely changes the context of it. Enjoy

McCoy was standing outside of Spock’s quarters when he emerged, arms folded and face fuming.  
  
“I looked up Kal Rekk,” he said. “You are going down to sickbay. You are going to eat, drink, and go to bed. That’s an order, _Commander_.”  
  
“You do not have the power to issue orders to me,” Spock said.  
  
“Watch me! I’m your doctor. I can do whatever the hell I want.”  
  
“I assure you this is unnecessary. Kal Rekk is observed by the Vulcan people every year, and adverse effects are practically unheard of. Vulcans are perfectly capable of ignoring the demands of the body for a single day, doctor. We are not as weak as humans.”  
  
“You’re half-human, you dumbass, and you’re coming to sickbay if I have to hypo you and drag you there by the tips of your pointed ears.”

* * *

Jim skidded into sickbay. “Spock! Bones told me you were here. What happened?”  
  
“Kal Rekk happened,” McCoy said. “This _genius_ over here didn’t eat or drink anything all day.”  
  
“Something that even humans are perfectly capable of. I ask that you stop speaking of my cultural customs in a derogatory way.”  
  
“Alright. Name one Vulcan ritual you’ve completed that hasn’t landed you or Jim or both you _and_ Jim in my sickbay.”  
  
“There is the kahs-wan, which I undertook at the age of seven.”  
  
“Uh-huh. And did you receive medical treatment following the kahs-wan?”  
  
“…Yes.”  
  
“For what,” McCoy demanded.  
  
“Dehydration, heatstroke, and the beginnings of starvation.”  
  
Kirk paled.  
  
McCoy threw up his hands. “You live on a Death World!”  
  
“What is a Death World?”  
  
“Vulcan! Space Australia! The planet that tries to kill everything that comes across it! Why the hell would your parents let you do the kahs-wan if it was that dangerous?”  
  
“It was a necessary maturity ritual to prove my readiness to begin living as a Vulcan adult.”  
  
“At age seven?!”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
McCoy threw up his hands again. “I’m done! I’m done. Eat your fucking soup and don’t move from that bed. I’ll be back in an hour.”  
  
He stormed off, presumably to go stew in his own anger, and Kirk pulled up a chair beside Spock’s biobed.  
  
“He’s only like that because he cares about you, you know,” he said.  
  
“In that case, it would then appear that he constantly cares about everything and everyone. Frustration and similar emotions seem to be the doctor’s most natural state.”  
  
Kirk laughed. “Yeah, you got that right. Don’t take it personally, he’s always yelling at me about taking care of myself, too,” he said. “So how did Kal Rekk go? Was it… I don’t know, what’s the best outcome for Kal Rekk? Informative? Relaxing?”  
  
“It is not meant to be relaxing. It was, however, informative. I came to several conclusions about my behavior over the past year.”  
  
“Oh. That’s good. Good for you.”  
  
“Thank you,” he said. “There is something I must discuss with you.”  
  
“Wow, that sounds ominous,” he said, with an obviously forced laugh. “Uh, what is it?”  
  
“Do you remember, on the day of the Battle of Vulcan, when I attempted to strangle you against a console on the bridge?”  
  
“Kinda hard to forget something like that, Spock.”  
  
“I was uncertain, as I know human memories—“  
  
“Your point, Spock?”  
  
“Yes. I would like to apologize. My behavior that day was abominable and unforgivable. As such, I do not expect forgiveness. I merely wish to convey my regrets.”  
  
“Spock, it’s okay, I forgive you. If anything, I should be asking for your forgiveness. I didn’t mean to say all that stuff about your mother. I’m sorry.”  
  
Guilt panged in Spock’s side. “Your apologies are unnecessary. I attempted to murder you, Captain. You should have had me dishonorably discharged and sent to a Federation prison. You have already shown me undue mercy.”  
  
“Spock, I’m not gonna send you to jail for doing something I intentionally provoked.”  
  
“At my future self’s request.”  
  
“Yeah, exactly.”  
  
“That makes it worse. The fact that I would coerce you into doing something that nearly ended your life—“  
  
“Spock, old-you didn’t know. He probably thought I would just make you cry or something. I really doubt he expected me to emotionally compromise you in that way.”  
  
“If he truly knows you as well as he says he does, he should have been able to predict the way in which you would interpret such instructions and specified accordingly.”  
  
“Well, he only knew an alternate me at that point. You can’t keep beating yourself up for this, Spock. I forgive you.”  
  
“You should not. My actions were despicable, savage, and I have done nothing to atone for them.”  
  
“Atone for them? What do you mean, atone for them? Spock, I’m fine.”  
  
“There is a Vulcan atonement ritual I would like to undertake with you.”  
  
“You seriously don’t have to do that. You’re forgiven. I’m good. It’s all water under the bridge. I forgive you for trying to kill me, you forgive me for humiliating you like that and taking your captaincy away. See? We’re even.”  
  
“No,” Spock said. “We are not.”  
  
“I—Wait, you do forgive me for emotionally compromising you, right? I mean, I get it if you don’t—“  
  
“Captain, I forgive you. That was never in question. What I mean is that your life is hardly of equal worth to a _captaincy_.” He all but spat the word with disgust.  
  
“Spock…”  
  
“We are most definitely not ‘even.’”  
  
“Okay,” he sighed. “If we go through with this atonement ritual, will you just let this go?”  
  
“Affirmative,” he straightened.  
  
“Okay then. Let’s do it.”  
  
_Let’s get this over with.  
_

* * *

Kirk sauntered onto the bridge dressed like a goddamn king.  
  
He was wearing Vulcan robes made of fine silks and plush fabrics, all in deep, rich colors and accentuated with actual gold. The robes had an actual, real-life cape along with them, and it flared out dramatically when he turned.  
  
He sprawled out in the captain’s chair like it was a throne.  
  
He really needed a crown. Or at least a scepter.  
  
“Oh, what is this,” McCoy said.  
  
“Part of a sacred ancient Vulcan ritual, Bones. So I’m allowed to break uniform regs for the day.”  
  
He looked to Spock askance. “ _Please_ tell me you didn’t have anything to do with this. He’s going to be insufferable for the next month.”  
  
“The captain’s choice of wardrobe for the day was at my request.”  
  
“Oh, god.”  
  
“Hey Spock, is it against any regs for me to have the crew call me _King_ Kirk for the day?”  
  
“…No. However, I believe that is solely because the admiralty did not anticipate a need for such a rule, and it is… inadvisable.”  
  
Kirk excitedly flicked on the intercom. “Hey guys—I mean, attention crew—everybody call me King Kirk for the day, it’ll be awesome. _King_ Kirk out.”  
  
Uhura rolled her eyes.  
  
Spock walked up to the chair. “I have brought you coffee, Ca—hm. My king.”  
  
The bridge crew erupted in uproar.  
  
“Do _not_ encourage him!”  
  
“I can’t believe you actually said that.”  
  
“Oh my god, Spock, that’s so great,” Kirk said, grinning wide. “I love Vulcan forgiveness rituals.”

* * *

Spock addressed him as ‘my king’ all day. The rest of the senior crew protested this vehemently. However, some of the lower-ranking officers were uncertain enough about the situation to actually follow Spock’s lead.  
  
Spock… _doted_ on Kirk. He followed his every command within an instant, which wasn’t unusual, but also his every simple request. He even anticipated some of them.  
  
He brought Kirk coffee. He did his paperwork for him.  
  
He gave him a fucking shoulder massage on the bridge.  
  
“Harder. Harder. That’s it. Dig it in there, Mr. Spock.”  
  
“Dear _lord_ , how long does this ritual _last_?” Bones asked.  
  
“The length of atonement depends on the gravity of the wrong committed. My error was of the gravest sort.”  
  
Uhura closed her eyes. She looked a bit like she was praying for strength.

* * *

They had a diplomatic mission the next day. Negotiations for a newly discovered Class-M planet’s entry into the Federation.  
  
So Kirk—regretfully, and with much complaining—wore his dress uniform. He took Spock and Nyota down with him.  
  
The Ambrodollians were a peaceful, happy people whose culture would fit in well with the rest of the Federation. They agreed on the same basic rights and universal equality. Their society was pretty similar to that of other member planets, and there weren’t many points of contention to be negotiated in order for them to join. In fact, this meeting would mostly be about persuading them to. Their technology was highly advanced, and they were just beyond the edge of the frontier. Them joining would extend the Federation’s borders and bring in a wealth of completely foreign, completely innovative technology.  
  
So Jim’s job here was to suck up good and do whatever they wanted. There was a reason he had been given the flagship, despite having the greenest crew in the ‘Fleet. He was the savior of Earth, his crew was young and pretty—sending the Enterprise on important diplomatic missions not only showed their hosts great honor, but it also went a long way to wooing them.  
  
Jim got missions like this a lot. He was getting pretty darn good at them, if he did say so himself.  
  
Still sucked at diplomacy though, but that was why he’d brought Spock and Nyota with him. He was expecting this to go over easily.  
  
But Jim had forgotten that Vulcans—or at least Spock—needed to have social cues explained to them in clear and explicit terms, almost like laying down rules, or hell, Jim should just write the guy a manual: ‘How Not to Deeply Offend Us Lesser Emotional Creatures.’  
  
Because Spock continued to call him ‘my king’ and practically wait on him hand and foot and it was making everyone uncomfortable and the Ambrodollians scales turned blue and their expressions darkened and Jim could visibly see them making very unfortunate conclusions about the power dynamics here.  
  
“We were not aware that the Federation had monarchies,” their leader, Huuv’dial, said.  
  
“We don’t,” Jim said quickly. “Spock’s just… joking.”  
  
Spock tilted his head at him and the Ambrodollians glared even harder. Great. Now they thought Jim was lying on top of it all.  
  
“He does not seem the type,” the second-in-command said.  
  
“Okay, but he is, I promise. The Federation is a democracy. Your right to free elections is guaranteed. Your right to home rule will not be impinged in any way, and you are granted the right to representation on the Federation Council.”  
  
“Are there many non-democratic worlds in your Federation?” Huuv’dial asked.  
  
“No! That’s actually a requirement for joining. All member planets have to have universal suffrage. Earth isn’t a monarchy. Spock and I aren’t even from the same planet?”  
  
Their scales fluttered in shock, like hackles raising. “Your world conquered his then?”  
  
“No! It’s just—“  
  
“The commander was only addressing Captain Kirk as king as one of the stipulations in a Vulcan cultural ritual they are undergoing,” Nyota said, somehow managing to keep the deep distaste out of her voice. “The captain is not king of anything. He is just a captain.”  
  
The Ambrodollians seemed pacified, somewhat. “What sort of ritual requires such a thing?”  
  
“It is part of our atonement customs to fulfill all the desires of the one wronged until the error is deemed to have been made up for. The captain expressed a desire to be treated like a king, and so I have been doing so for the past 1.67 days.”  
  
“What error could possibly warrant such a thing?”  
  
And before anyone could stop him, Spock answered.  
  
“On our first day working together, I attempted to kill the captain while on the bridge of our starship, an incident which he provoked to allow himself to move up in rank through a technicality in the rules.”

* * *

The Ambrodollians didn’t join the Federation. Pike chewed Jim out for half an hour over it. And then Jim tried to explain why and what happened, and that just made the man angrier.  
  
The admiralty was going to be making a new reg specifically about how officers must always be addressed by their correct rank and nothing else while on duty or on a mission. They were putting new stipulations in regarding the interactions between a captain and their first officer. Jim was told he was on thin ice, which yeah, what else was new.  
  
“Spock,” he said, approaching him after shift. “You really want to even the score for choking me on the bridge?”  
  
He looked Vulcan-startled, which wasn’t much. “Affirmative, Captain.”  
  
“Then _please_ for the love of _god_ stop with this forgiveness ritual.”  
  
He fixed him with a searing gaze. “As you wish, my king.”  
  
Jim could’ve punched him. Instead, he burst out laughing.  
  
It was the last time Spock ever called him that.


End file.
